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J'Accuse Bill Simmons. - Sauce1977 [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
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J'Accuse Bill Simmons. [Jul. 3rd, 2005|01:21 pm]
Sauce1977
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This is the last Sports Guy article I will ever read.

From Wikipedia:

He is best known, as The Sports Guy, for the extraordinary length and frequency of his columns, his extended analogies, and his references to pop culture (especially from the 1980s).


It should read:

He is best known as The Boston Sports Idiot for the extraordinary length and frequency of his superficial columns. He employs extended useless analogies and references to pop culture which no one would care to get.


Newsflash:

Length and frequency do not translate to quality.


Go back to Beantown, you Hopalong Cassidy.

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Comments:
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2005-07-03 05:47 pm (UTC)
Bill Simmons begs to be taken seriously.

It's about time that guys like Mitch Albom teach him a fucking lesson.
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2005-07-03 05:52 pm (UTC)
Page 2 should equate to comedy.

Bill Simmons isn't funny.

He should go back to Boston, with all the other no-talent hacks like Antoine Walker.
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2005-07-03 05:56 pm (UTC)
I enjoyed his comments on the Pistons, but his own criteria fail to remotely make a decent order of list.

Did anyone see Tim Duncan choke on all those free-throws?

For starters . . .

Why the hell is Timmay #1?
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2005-07-03 06:03 pm (UTC)

Buckwheat Ben is Bald Eagle Bowen.

It's not about one player though . . . neither team is.

The Spurs and Pistons are West and East versions of themselves, with minor detail changes like cast members.
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2005-07-03 06:01 pm (UTC)

Chauncey Billups @ #18.

How the hell is LeBron James not number one?

A. Salaries matter. Would you rather pay Chris Bosh $9.7 million for the next three years or Paul Pierce $47 million for the next three?


Oh, I know why. If Bill doesn't come up with some retarded #1 to put in the column instead of LeBron, then he doesn't have an extended windbag shit-ass article.
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2005-07-03 06:11 pm (UTC)

Trade Value.

This is about the best 'trade value,' with emphasis on his criteria, A through E.

A through E point to LeBron, especially if Gilbert and Ferry were to respond to an Isiah inquiry exactly with regard to D.
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[User Picture]From: pierce
2005-07-03 06:41 pm (UTC)
i miss reading Hunter S.
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2005-07-03 06:43 pm (UTC)
Comedy is dead in the hands of serious comedians.
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[User Picture]From: pierce
2005-07-03 06:44 pm (UTC)
pretty much.
the best stuff i've read recently has been unintentional.
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