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From allyaneedisrick: Find a Human. - Sauce1977 [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Sauce1977

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From allyaneedisrick: Find a Human. [Oct. 19th, 2005|09:30 pm]
Sauce1977
[Tags|, , ]
[In the Moment |ring-ring-ring-ring-ring-ring]
[Special Music |"ding-dong-ding-dong-ding-dong-ding, Bananaphoooone,"]



*riiiing*

*click* "Hello! You've reached X Corporation, home of the finest customer service available. If you know your party's extension, enter it now."

"Para Español, numero cinqo."

"If you'd like to pay your bill, press or say one."

"If you're a new customer, and you'd like to sign up for service, press or say two."

"If you're interested in hearing more about our service to help your decision to choose X Corporation as your provider, press or say three."

"If you're having trouble paying your balance online through our ePay automated account management, or you'd like to activate your account for ePay, press or say four."

"For more options, press six."

*six punch*

"If you are having trouble with your service, please press or say seven."

"If . . ."

*seven punch*

"To help diagnose your problem and send you to the correct service advisor, press or say the number which matches your difficulty."

"If you have experienced difficulty with an X Corporation product or service, press or say eight."

"If . . ."

*SLAM-click*


Your friendly customer service professional.


Customer service departments wonder why customers reach their departments with furious tone in their voices.

Ever need service right now?



Chances are great for a back door.



The link takes you to a report of the by-pass function of the IVRs (automated service prompts).


Neve dials the nine one one.


*riiiing*

"Hello, you've reached the Metro Detroit 911 dispatch service. If you know the extension of the party you're trying to reach, please enter it now."

"Para Español, numero cinqo."

"If you have a question about dispatching job opportunities, please press one."

"If you . . ."

*click*

linkReply

Comments:
[User Picture]From: fruitpunch76
2005-10-20 02:16 am (UTC)
We make our phone prompts so frickin' easy at work, and people STILL end up in the wrong place!
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2005-10-20 03:46 am (UTC)
Well, nobody said the customers had to be intelligent.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: lordjunon
2005-10-20 03:21 am (UTC)
intresting. Very intresting. indeed.
Chris
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2005-10-20 03:49 am (UTC)
I know you love customers at the game shop, heh.

I've been a phone jockey. It's not so bad, but unfortunately, they hire anyone off the street, considering the alternative is contractors in India, Pakistan, Taiwan, and the region, for half-price. Even if you get someone on the phone, good luck finding someone who knows what the hell they're doing.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
From: hulagalinthesky
2005-10-20 12:06 pm (UTC)
We even get calls from automated voices.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2005-10-20 01:32 pm (UTC)
Blockbuster video loves to do that, in recent years, with overdue rentals.

I know because I returned one of their videos, and they forgot to check it into their system for a couple days.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
From: hulagalinthesky
2005-10-20 02:03 pm (UTC)
Yeah...we get a lot of wrong numbers for Yolanda Anderson. Blockbuster has even called our apartment (automated, of course) for her. It's the worst when you get a wrong number AND it's automated.

The best wrong number, of course, was the magazine vendor calling to thank Yolanda for her recent adult magazine subscriptions.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2005-10-20 02:10 pm (UTC)
Ah, Big Chicks with Dicks and Jugg Mania must be proud to have Yolanda as a subscriber.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
From: hulagalinthesky
2005-10-20 02:11 pm (UTC)
laughing me arse off!
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2005-10-20 02:24 pm (UTC)
It makes you wonder if she really is a freak like that, or if she had identity theft and the clowns with her vital info have really bad taste.

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
From: justin79
2005-10-20 12:16 pm (UTC)
I love the "steps to find a human" for Compaq and AT&T: "No easy escape."
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2005-10-20 01:33 pm (UTC)
Yeah, I guess AT & T has such important departments to create such a need for prompting.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: allyaneedisrick
2005-10-20 02:41 pm (UTC)
Nice presentation. Very nice. Major Props dude.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2005-10-20 02:47 pm (UTC)
Thank you for the tip.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)