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Oh Shit, That's Not in the Script! - Sauce1977 [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Sauce1977

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Oh Shit, That's Not in the Script! [Jan. 31st, 2006|01:30 am]
Sauce1977
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[In the Moment |ZANG]



Tonight's Jimmy Kimmel show featured "TV Host Regis Philbin," "Actress Jordana Brewster" ("spelled like Punky," she said), and "Musical guests 'She Wants Revenge.'"

After Jimmy Kimmel finished a gay-playful segment with Regis, Jordana entered for the next.

During the beginning of the interview, Jordana wildly chomped a wad of gum, and Jimmy became distracted. Suddenly, Jimmy told her that he wanted to chew her gum.

Jordana talked about her gum compulsion. Whenever she is not near a wastebasket, being a sloppy and messy lady that she willingly admitted, she'll take the gum out of her mouth, and she'll put it on a table or near a dresser. Generally, Jordana's gum will end up all over the place.

Then, Jordana took the gum out of her mouth and put it on Jimmy's desk corner.

The crowd shouted a batch of "LOLWTFBBQJORDANA."

Then, Jimmy asked Regis what he thought of this compulsion.

Regis implored Jimmy to eat the gum, since he previously said that he wanted to do it. DARE.

So, Jimmy picked up the gum from the desk and chewed it.

More "LOLOMGWTFBBQJIMMY" happened. Jordana blushed, Regis laughed, and Jimmy continued to chomp.

"Somehow, you're going to get pregnant from this," Jimmy zinged at Jordana.

"LOLOMGJIMMYWTFHAHABBQHAT." She laughed, and she blushed.

Jimmy then commented upon his open and effeminate overtures to Regis. He zanged Regis with an "as if" he wasn't going to chew Jordana's gum. DOUBLE REVERSE DARE.

Jimmy took out the gum from his mouth. So, Regis took Jordana's gum from Jimmy's hand, and he put it in his mouth and chomped it.

By now, it became a flawless victory, since the crowd roared with "BBQMAXWTFJIMMYLOLREGISLOL."

What woulda been really awesome, during the death rattle of the laughter, is if Jordana said, "Oh, and by the way, my herpes flared up today."

That woulda been better than the band, which sucked.

Ba-da-da ba-da-da ba-da-daaah.

linkReply

Comments:
[User Picture]From: gjenkins05
2006-01-31 06:49 am (UTC)
woot!

lol
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2006-01-31 06:51 am (UTC)
If it was done with the right timing and right emphasis, I would have remembered Jordana Brewster.

Now, I remember her for what she didn't do.

Then, I'll forget her.
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2006-01-31 06:59 am (UTC)
Minor better would have been if Jimmy had said it, maybe.

Anything to get Regis to spit out the gum with enough force into the audience, just to show them running back to the seats they vacated.
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[User Picture]From: anima
2006-01-31 04:02 pm (UTC)
lolomgwtfsaucelol! :)
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2006-01-31 06:40 pm (UTC)
The point of her on the show was to get herself known.

She could have always followed it up with a "juuuust kidding."
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[User Picture]From: brushwithrob
2006-01-31 09:51 pm (UTC)
The fact you snuck "BBQ" into the laughter is remarkable.

In other news, my Dad thinks Jordana Brewster is hot. I sort've agree.
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[User Picture]From: brushwithrob
2006-01-31 10:00 pm (UTC)
Lol, sounds like she got owned.

She was in "Fast And The Furious", which is "Point Break" with cars. She's also in the new film "Annapolis".
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2006-01-31 10:05 pm (UTC)
See, I think she has trouble.

I mean, I'm not sure when Groucho Marx eyebrows were the rage, but it just doesn't work. I want to put a moustache on that face.
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[User Picture]From: brushwithrob
2006-01-31 10:18 pm (UTC)
Holy shit, those eyebrows are uber thick. Like fucking catepillars on her forehead.
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2006-01-31 10:20 pm (UTC)
Indeed.

Maybe there's a rule that Jimmy cannot be upstaged.
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[User Picture]From: brushwithrob
2006-01-31 10:31 pm (UTC)
I've only seen Jimmy interview LT, and I liked that a lot. I should really start watching that show as a departure from the other late-nights.
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2006-01-31 10:37 pm (UTC)
I took notice when he zanged Detroit during the '04 NBA Finals.

People got all upset over that one.
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[User Picture]From: brushwithrob
2006-01-31 10:47 pm (UTC)
What did he say?
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2006-01-31 11:21 pm (UTC)
In 2004, he quipped about riots and bonfires if the Pistons would win, but he was 20 years too late with the punchline.

Detroiters heard it, and they went crazy.

Naturally, everyone involved on both sides had a big fit over it.

Meow.
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[User Picture]From: brushwithrob
2006-01-31 11:26 pm (UTC)
Wow. That's pretty assholeish of him.

And that's a fat fuckin' cat.
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2006-01-31 11:29 pm (UTC)
Yeah, I thought that, too.

Then, I lived in LA, and I lived like about 1 mile from his studio. I went to a couple shows. It was fun.
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[User Picture]From: brushwithrob
2006-02-01 12:01 am (UTC)
That's pretty cool. What time is his show normally on?
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2006-02-01 12:04 am (UTC)
It varies per market, but in Detroit, he's like the main ABC gig after their night-time Nightline talk-show about whatever topic.
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[User Picture]From: brushwithrob
2006-02-01 12:08 am (UTC)
Oh okay. I'll catch it eventually. Hopefully it'll be a good guest.
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2006-02-01 12:34 am (UTC)
He's on tour in Detroit's Gem for the SB week. That starts tonight.
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[User Picture]From: brushwithrob
2006-02-01 12:47 am (UTC)
That's pretty cool. What's it like there? Crazy yet?
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2006-02-01 12:53 am (UTC)
Thousands showed up to try and get into what turns out only to be 1,000 total seats over the days.

I think there's like about 250 a night in the Gem. That's basically like Jimmy's El Capitan theatre . . . it's an old building out there on Hollywood, so it's like Jimmy travels a long way to be . . . Jimmy.

Of course, some ass-clown didn't market it the right way, so a lot of fans today went home grumbling.
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[User Picture]From: brushwithrob
2006-02-01 12:59 am (UTC)
That blows. If you could guess, where are most of the fans from? Pittsburgh?
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2006-02-01 01:02 am (UTC)
Probably Detroit.

The riot comments probably got them to watch. Detroiters are like that.
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[User Picture]From: brushwithrob
2006-02-01 01:34 am (UTC)
Damn.
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2006-01-31 09:58 pm (UTC)
I still don't know who Jordana is, specifically because she let both Jimmy and Regis owned her.
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2006-01-31 10:12 pm (UTC)
Fuck, I am not doing well at English today.
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[User Picture]From: ellie
2006-01-31 10:25 pm (UTC)
I have never been fond of She Wants Revenge. Did they sing "I want to tear you apart"? Because if so, that's the absolute worst song they have done. "These Things" is acceptable and indeed is a good dance song.
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2006-01-31 10:36 pm (UTC)
It was one chord, over and over, and some dude who couldn't get his lyrics over that monotone stuff.

People say techno's a bunch of shit . . . fuuuuuck that, standing up next to whatever that was.
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[User Picture]From: ellie
2006-01-31 10:48 pm (UTC)
Yeap, She Wants Revenge really wants to be the next new-new wave band. They take the flat tones of Interpol and rape them horribly.
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2006-01-31 11:22 pm (UTC)
That band just needs the dude to scream about love or something.
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[User Picture]From: ellie
2006-01-31 11:33 pm (UTC)
He does mumble about his girlfriend masturbating in the bathroom and keeping him locked outside.
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2006-01-31 11:46 pm (UTC)
Now, that's just a pwned situation.

I'm not going to rush out and say, "Oh, yeah I can totally relate to some girl teasing me by rubbing off so that I can look but not touch."

Well, I mean, that's the story at a lot of strip clubs, but who'd put up with that shit in reality?
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[User Picture]From: ellie
2006-01-31 11:48 pm (UTC)
Apparently he does, thus confirming his sucktastic status.
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2006-01-31 11:52 pm (UTC)
What would be cool is if, while she was doing that, he starts talking about whipping out some spy-shit, like a thin pencil-cam, shoving the snake-cam under the door, taping it, and then, like, selling the tape on eBay.
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[User Picture]From: smkndawonderful
2006-02-01 05:09 am (UTC)
lol!!!
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2006-02-01 06:41 am (UTC)

OH YEAH!

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[User Picture]From: anthrogeek
2006-02-02 12:43 am (UTC)
behavior best suited for the man show.

PS: i dont see what's so great about JK.
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2006-02-02 01:35 am (UTC)
I didn't either, but when you look at the other choices, well, I guess I don't see a lot of things.
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2006-02-02 05:36 am (UTC)
Well, I watched this show on the 30th, and I watched one tonight in his 2nd show in Detroit for the SB gig, and, well, that's two shows where Matt Damon didn't make it on the show because they "ran out of time."

You decide.
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From: jetpropel
2006-02-03 02:28 am (UTC)
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2006-02-03 02:43 am (UTC)
Hahahaha.
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2006-02-03 02:48 am (UTC)
You want it.

Waiting for you in SD.
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