|The X-Files: I Want to Believe (2008)
||[Jul. 27th, 2008|06:00 am]
I want to forget.
It wasn't as if I was surprised that this film fared poorly. I'm surprised that it sunk underneath the level I expected. This movie was like a high-budget extended version of a television episode, but it would have fit right in with their terrible final season.
Fox Mulder (David Duchovny) and Dana Scully (Gillian Anderson) were once a top-notch duo. This show was very popular during the 1990s. I disagree with all who say that Chris Carter waited too long to make this film. If Carter had turned in a dynamite screenplay, then such an effort would have buoyed a long-forgotten franchise. Chris Carter wastes time on scenes where Mulder and Scully psych themselves up to stay involved with a case and finish it. Come on. These are the X-Files. We're talking about crazy shit like UFOs, bat children, and demons. What do we get? A semi-psychic pedophile. Such nonsense tells me Carter has no worthwhile ideas left for this universe.
I don't really want to mention how they brought Scully and Mulder back into the ring. The descriptive words to use . . . flimsy, reach, arbitrary. The only plus about that set was the wacky beard Mulder crafted. Y'arr, matey.
There was a mind-numbing sub-plot with Scully that involved a semi-commentary on stem-cell research that had absofuckinglutely nothing to do with the main story. It served merely as character development for a character who had long been developed. Scully hadn't really changed, so it was completely unnecessary.
Duchovny and Anderson do their usual stoic jobs with their characters. The rest of the cast gets a weak pass. Billy Connolly's Father Joseph Crissman, the semi-psychic pedophile, was uninspiring. The bad guys? They aren't bad enough to mention. Amanda Peet's Dakota Whitney and Xzibit's Mosley Drummy were half-tolerable and useless, in that order. They were agents we became semi-aware of in this installment. Xzibit was a huge mistake. They gave him nothing decent to do, and he did even less with the role.
I never want to see another X-Files installment.
This X-Files bird was more entertaining. Mr. Carter, if only you had thought about a spoken-word budgie that prophecized doom . . . I bet that with such a meager MacGuffin as suggested, you could have done at least double the bank this weekend for less than significant fuss.