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Sauce1977

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Banana Boat [Oct. 22nd, 2003|02:51 am]
Sauce1977
[In the Moment |discontentdiscontent]
[Special Music |Blue Öyster Cult - Career of Evil]

This thing looks large, even on a musty chewing gum card.

Eyesore? Stylish School Bus?

When styles change, it's pretty safe to assume that times have changed. Or is it ever safe to assume?

The Stats: Banana Behemoth

Driving is a chore I enjoy giving to others. I did drive my modest share of the round trip through Arkansas, but trips are different situations to me.

On a trip, it's okay to get lost. It's okay to spend some time in gridlock. It's okay to spend hours in a vehicle.

For work, for transit to play, or for the home drive, it's never seemingly worth the time it takes to drive to the destination.

My dislike of vehicles began at an early driving age. I had cleared the initial high school years and the resulting novice driver hijinks. Nothing spelled ignorant freedom more than hurtling myself down I-94 with the needle just above 100 mph, in my mother's Oldsmobile.

On my first day of college, someone couldn't stop his vehicle behind me, and his white Pontiac screeched and slammed into the rear of my brand new Cavalier.

Being ignorant, I motioned for him to pull over . . . I watched in horror as he bolted into the crowded intersection, losing me in pursuit. Being ignorant, and being shocked, these weren't great combinations, as I failed to catch his license plate.

Not only did this guy ruin my new ride feel, he ruined my love for driving, automobiles, and everything to do with the auto industry.

Instantly, from that point, I rested my rear end in every vehicle and grabbed hold of the steering wheel of the motorized transportation that would propel me from Point A to Point B.

I do have my folly and my weird taste. I still would like to purchase a refurbished DeLorean.

Run Marty!  It's The Lybians!

Personally, this somehow defies my previous statement of absolute rejection. A DeLorean would make driving exotic and fun. However, I have no desire to get all gung-ho over a strange blurb in automotive history. Most likely, I would obtain this ride, and then for one week, I would enjoy it. Then, I would car-coon it, and then, I wouldn't look at it or do anything with it.

The times, they are a-changin.'

Oh? This Yellow Beast lives, in the shape of the SUV.

What drives me mad are tinted windows.

TeH eViL.

Every SUV has them.

Every SUV, on a typical gridlocked MI road, has 30 SUVs, bunched together, towering over my Cavalier.

I can't see anything. I have the jocko or the whoever behind me in his SUV.

No, I'm not jealous. I wouldn't be envious of something that takes so much gas, not with these prices.

All the SUVs will bunch together, like a herd of buffalo. They will ride my rear end, and they will toot their precious horn of objection if I choose to slow down a bit, even one second, to gain just enough space between me and the next Giant Eyesore.

It's as if I cannot live my life as I see fit. Thanks, Michigan, for having shitty weather and a focus of industry of which I find useless to me.

When I found this musty card in a pile of my uncle's old ball cards, this card made me smile in smug glee. What a wonderful symbol of self-importance.



Regardless, it's an interesting lil' card. The dawn of . . . power steering!
linkReply

Comments:
[User Picture]From: fruitpunch76
2003-10-22 02:42 pm (UTC)

Ooooo Banana Boat!

That term makes me think of suntan lotion!!!!

It's amazing what close to 12 hours of sleep can do for a person. I am feeling much much better!

I'm starting Christmas shopping through catalogs. I need to know what some people like...I am holding to a budget.

I love you lots and lots! Patiently awaiting Mooch to announce his decision!!!
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2003-10-22 03:02 pm (UTC)

Re: Ooooo Banana Boat!

Forget normal. I'll settle for abnormal.

They sell 1/18th scale DeLoreans. Though, I'm still waiting for the ample finance to plunk down a 50% down payment of $23,000 for the one I want.

I sure as hell won't get one here, in the land of salted roads and undercarriage rust.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: fruitpunch76
2003-10-22 03:03 pm (UTC)

Re: Ooooo Banana Boat!

Why don't I sacrifice one year's income for you?
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2003-10-22 03:11 pm (UTC)

No need to sacrifice.

I'm just in a bit of a cold that is affecting my brain, which probably wasn't fully healed from the previous colds, which probably wasn't fully healed from the first severe beating I took as a child.

Besides, when the money becomes lavishly a-plenty, we can complete this strange 80s fetish. I can get some polo shirts, and some really goofy Ray-Bans. I'll even style my hair and gel-spray it in those strange big-haired guy ways. You can grow your hair longer and get one of those poofy hairspray bangs going.

I've got the first piece complete, baby. My Atari setup is in the basement.

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: fruitpunch76
2003-10-22 03:26 pm (UTC)

Re: No need to sacrifice.

You are amusing today...it's a good thing I'm better! I can play along!

The polos must be nasty pastel stripe-ed...not striped...stripe-ed. And alligators...we must get IZOD!

Atari...how I miss it so! I still wanna know what that game is with the duck that chases! I know I've played it!!!

Sid Hoffman, or Sid Frenchman?
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2003-10-22 03:26 pm (UTC)

Re: No need to sacrifice.

Sid Frenchman.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: fruitpunch76
2003-10-22 03:31 pm (UTC)

Re: No need to sacrifice.

I love you. You know...maybe that was Pitfall. I remember playing Pitfall a lot. What do you think?
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2003-10-22 03:50 pm (UTC)

How to Deal with SUVs.



As for dealing with the SUVs, I found a clever solution here:

How to deal with SUVs.

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2003-10-22 03:51 pm (UTC)

Still Unsure.

I don't remember ducks chasing me in Pitfall.

You might want to search Atari information databases.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: fruitpunch76
2003-10-22 06:39 pm (UTC)

Re: Still Unsure.

I may just have to do that. I suppose you've heard Mooch is keeping Joey to start. I'm pleased with the decision. He made the same decision with Bret Farvre at one point.

I dropped Michael Ricks and picked up Jerome Bettis. We'll see what that does for me.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: fruitpunch76
2003-10-22 07:39 pm (UTC)

Re: Still Unsure.

It wasn't Raiders of the Lost Ark, was it?
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: fruitpunch76
2003-10-22 07:40 pm (UTC)

Re: Still Unsure.

Venture?
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2003-10-23 06:23 am (UTC)

Re: Still Unsure.

Again, search the online info!

Sheesh. I never had no freekin' ducks chasing me in any of my old carts.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2003-10-23 03:10 am (UTC)

Re: Still Unsure.

Reminder for you, on what we discussed on the phone:

That Bettis move matters little, unless they suddenly find out how to rise from lackluster bottom-of-league rushing results.
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