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SPAM: The Unloved Meat. - Sauce1977 [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Sauce1977

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SPAM: The Unloved Meat. [Nov. 20th, 2003|04:35 am]
Sauce1977
[In the Moment |jealousjealous]
[Special Music |AC/DC - Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap]

This one's actually a lil' more clever.

They want your response first.

It's actually typed well, and they go through such a long story.

Asking me to be morally bankrupt and participate in identity fraud, that is priceless.

As Follows . . .

*********************************************

Mr. Francis Johnson
Lagos Nigeria.
Email: francis_johnson77@dinastyfair.com

Dear: Sir/Madam,

Courtesy of Business opportunity, I take liberty
anchored on strong desire to solicit for your
assistance on this mutual beneficial and risk free
transaction with you, which I hope you give urgent
attention. To be precise, I am Mr. Francis Johnson the
Manager of Bills/Exchange at the Foreign
Exchange/Remittance Department of UNION BANK OF
NIGERIA PLC. In my department, we discovered an
abandoned sum of US$12,524,000.00 (Twelve Million,
Five Hundred and Twenty Four Thousand United States
Dollars) in an account that belongs to one of our
customers who died along with his entire family in
1988 Lockerbie Pan American Airline plane crash.

Since we got information about his death, we have been
expecting his next of Kin to come over and claim his
money, because we can not release it unless somebody
applied for its next of Kin or Relation to the
deceased as indicated in our banking procedure, but
unfortunately to no avail, and nobody has come forward
to claim the money (because the mentioned next of kin
which is Son died as well).

Therefore, upon this discovery I and other two
officials in my department now decide to establish a
cordial business relationship with you, hence my
contacting you. We want you to purportedly present
your good self as the next of Kin or relation of the
deceased so that we can prepare documentations and
release the funds (US$12.524 Million) into your
account for safety and subsequent disbursement since
nobody is coming for it and again we do not want the
funds to go into the Governments account as “Unclaimed
Bill”.

The banking law and procedures herein stipulates that
any account abandoned or dormant for a period of some
years is subjected to be closed and all money
contained therein will be forfeited to the Government
Treasury Account. Now it is being speculated that the
above sum will be transferred into Government Treasury
Account as unclaimed funds on or before December 2003.
The reason for you to present your good self as the
next of kin in occasioned by the fact that the
deceased customer was a foreigner.

Mode of sharing after the successful completion of the
transfer is as follows, for the role you will be
expected to play in the whole exercise, we have agreed
to give you twenty five (25%) of the total sum, and 5%
has been set aside for expenses we are going to
encounter by both parties in the process of this
transaction and the remaining 70% shall be for my
colleagues and I. In support of the aforementioned,
you are urged to reply this letter indicating your
readiness and interest to participate in the business.
After you reply, you will be advised on the next step
forward.

I quite believe that you will protect our interest by
keeping this business Top Secret and Confidential, as
your interest will be equally protected in order to
achieve and maintain maximum confidentiality. Trust to
hear from you on the above Email address:
francis_johnson77@dinastyfair.com in the letter as I
count on your earliest response.

Yours truly,


Mr. Francis Johnson

***********************************************



Response:

What kind of a world do we live in where an email disguised as an offer . . . is a silly con job?

Oh, that's right . . . reality.

Thankfully, I don't live there.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!

Mr. Francis Johnson, Goooooooo . . . with a smile!
linkReply

Comments:
From: zboson
2003-11-20 02:54 pm (UTC)
WOW! You're going to pass up an offer like that??? Yer cray-zey! =P

That is one of the oldest scams ever - I can't believe people still fall for that kind of thing.

Of course, I still see people falling for 3-card monte every day, and that trick is older than dirt. Do people live under rocks? I don't understand. Even if you watch TV you'll know.

Oh well, a fool and his money...
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2003-11-20 03:01 pm (UTC)
You said it perfectly, the fool and money soon parted.

It was tempting for a split second, however . . .

I only am fooled completely by walruses selling soap, and my drunk friends, selling ham in elevators.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
From: zboson
2003-11-21 02:17 am (UTC)
Elevator ham? Hmmmm... I'm intrigued. Tell me more! Do I need a credit card?
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2003-11-21 03:40 am (UTC)
It's a cash-only operation.

Cut-rate prices on meat, no tax involved, the meat is flown in from Argentina under the radar on biplanes.

The prime market for the underworld delicacy is transacted in the elevators of Las Vegas.

What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. :D
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
From: puppytron
2003-11-20 05:39 pm (UTC)
god i love that movie...
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2003-11-21 03:32 am (UTC)
The first Batman film was pretty cool. Despite who plays Batman, Nicholson played the Joker perfectly.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: _crack_my_ribs
2003-11-21 06:02 am (UTC)
i agree!

nicholsonwastheperfectjoker-tashi
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: _crack_my_ribs
2003-11-21 06:00 am (UTC)
haha! that is so funny? i wonder y u get stuff like that!? i never receive anything fo that sort.

conartistsdontemailme-tashi
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2003-11-21 06:40 am (UTC)
I receive silly emails like this because my account, rocketmail.com, was in existence back in the mid 1990s.

Back then, when I first started college, we got NO spam. There weren't filters . . . there really wasn't a lot of it, especially with a new account.

Suddenly, Yahoo! bought up rocketmail. Transferring them into their system, my ID gained the .rm tag. Around that time, people started spamming like the dickens.

My account is old, and it's part of a free email server that is easily searchable on the web. Therefore, spammers have had enough time to locate it, know it's active, and therefore bombard Yahoo! servers with a multitude of solicitations.

The same thing happens when you live in a house for more than 5 years. Suddenly, everything you bought knows where you live, and they send credit card applications and mortgage offers and everything else, on average of 10 a day.

It happens. Now, we even have 'disposeable' emails at the offering . . . one-time sends where you won't get a reply. Boy, that's a GREAT idea.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)