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MemoHell 1: Old Procedure Notification (One of Thousands) - Sauce1977 [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Sauce1977

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MemoHell 1: Old Procedure Notification (One of Thousands) [Dec. 3rd, 2003|03:45 am]
Sauce1977
[In the Moment |nostalgicnostalgic]
[Special Music |Boards of Canada - Seeya Later]

This was probably on my computer for a reason, but I can't remember why.

It is one of the hundreds of reasons why leaving the account was the best thing I could have done to help them.

Imagine protocol reminders, like this one, about 3-5 a day, sometimes 12, every day, including the days you don't work, for over a year.

We had 'weekly quizzes' on protocol and recent developments, every week. These quizzes had direct bearing on your monthly evaluation's overall score. In any given week, more than one wrong, if I'm not mistaken, was a performance issue. A couple of performance issues got you a fine piece of paper called a 'final warning,' which is the legal paper they cite when the company gets around to firing you.

As promised, as follows.

Memohell01

We had written protocol and procedure for everything. Probably there was a memo for going to use the bathroom, but I must have missed that one, and the one about smoking in front of the building.

I condone following the rules. But when every rule is mapped out and sent in triplicate or worse by every supervisor, and your outlook inbox is flooded by memos within 2 weeks, then you may gain a little appreciation for the film Office Space.
linkReply

Comments:
From: sub_conscious
2003-12-03 01:42 pm (UTC)
have you seen my stapler?
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2003-12-04 11:31 pm (UTC)
Uh Yeah, Marcus, I'm gonna have to let you know that the red Swingline stapler was actually my stapler, and um, can you go ahead and move your office equipment downstairs, to the basement, as it would be part of the protocol as mentioned in the new memo . . . did you get the memo? :D
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From: sub_conscious
2003-12-05 03:12 am (UTC)
one of my all time fav. movies.

best part of the movie is in the opening scenes with the guy in the glasses listening to hardcore hip hop. lol
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2003-12-05 09:02 am (UTC)
I love the hit put on the fax machine.

Jennifer Aniwhosit's 'Piece of Flair' was nice too.

Nice turkey/nipple/bouncy image in your icons, by the way!
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[User Picture]From: fruitpunch76
2003-12-03 02:14 pm (UTC)

Oh there was one on the bathroom...technically!

They made the rule that you had to be in "Not Ready" in order to use the bathroom...no using "After Call Work", which was the better stat to have more minutes towards....idiots.

I mean here where I work now, we have stats to uphold, but it's not as anal. I feel ok going to the bathroom if I need to, or putting myself in an unavailable status to go fax something or get something from the printer. I could not deal with the stats that we had to uphold at that place. Everything from attendance policies that made no sense, rules for switching and taking time off, blah blah blah blah blah!

Anyway, I'm glad we're not there anymore. I can't say that I'm upset for working there, as I learned a lot and met the most wonderful man ever!!!! :op
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2003-12-04 11:45 pm (UTC)

Re: Oh there was one on the bathroom...technically!

The element of trust did not apply at that previous workplace.

I still find it amusing at the notion that the most happiest and motivated, upwardly mobile types that made the place so wonderful for the first couple months . . . they turned to bitter and loveless types, like me, by the end of their tenure.

I still miss some guys, like my ex-supervisor (one of several) that was demoted for no reason, then subjected to the same hell as us advisors, that maintained a positive attitude, all the way up until they had made him turn into a savage beast, like the rest of us.

It doesn't help when they make it impossible to have a good monthly review.

Thus, it's no surprise that after the initial budget freeze in January of 02 happened, that in this time the vending company squeezed and screwed itself out of a major factor in the operations.

When you distrust and degrade and dissolve your corporate morale over a period of a year, you can't possibly recover from any cost issues that you were trying to fix at the help's expense.
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2003-12-05 12:01 am (UTC)

Re: Oh there was one on the bathroom...technically!

http://www.forbes.com/lifestyle/2003/11/26/cz_jf_1126feat.html

Here's an interesting lil' news ditty about OnStar.

What all the media fails to know about the 'super-strong' signal is that if you're out in the middle of Nowhere, Idaho, without a cell tower for miles, it's useless.

What no customer knows is the dependency on analog cell towers, as archaic and unreliable as they are, to function OnStar.

What no Texan knows is that due to their state's cell business structure, there are 300 companies that work on all the unkempt cell towers, also in disrepair.

So the Texan that has OnStar couldn't get a freaking signal half the time, during my whole tenure as an advisor. If the signal got through, it would be very staticy, not strong, and definitely not coherent for the advisor to understand through the fuzz what the customer was trying to ask.

Forget unlocks. They didn't work half the time. If you parked in a garage, or underground, you couldn't get the signal.

Slander? Try reality. Do yourself a favor and get a cell phone with a GPS locator in it. Then, if you get in trouble, dial 911, mention the word "help," and pray that you're not in the seedy part of town. You'd have better chances of hassle-free life without OnStar than with it.
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[User Picture]From: longlivepeach
2003-12-03 08:32 pm (UTC)
wow. i never really get to peek in at this strange and foreign land of cube-farms and snowflakes. the copy of the memo reminds me of a cheerleader. "OK everybody! let's remember to use the BATPHONE whenever we need to NUMBER TWO or NUMBER ONE! go TEAM and go TEAM LEADER! you're doing EXCELLENT WORK!"

hehe!
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2003-12-04 11:29 pm (UTC)
"OK everybody! let's remember to use the BATPHONE whenever we need to NUMBER TWO or NUMBER ONE! go TEAM and go TEAM LEADER! you're doing EXCELLENT WORK!"

With that very 'rah rah' tone and attitude, that would be my first supervisor when I transitioned to Account Services.

Isn't inter-office-land interesting in some deer-in-headlights sort of way?
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2003-12-04 11:55 pm (UTC)

OnStar News Link.

http://www.freep.com/money/business/walsh4_20031204.htm

Basically, it's an article about the corporate end of the company moving closer downtown to GM in their HQ complex.

These were the guys who oversaw the vending companies who provided the service, or at least, they were the figureheads for the service.

They used to be right door next to us in the suburbs.

The 'Batphone' as mentioned was a name that stuck from their intial Batman ad campaign, which was pretty cool, until they started taking their recorded phone service calls (they record everything) as the new ad campaign, the demonstration of how OnStar works, in a perfect world, where the service advisor doesn't sound disgruntled or disinterested, isn't a complete idiot (90% of who they hired from the summer of 02 onward), and there are no entanglements, like when the customer forgets to pay the bill, and the system is deactivated for interactive use . . .

I have some stories to tell. Due time.
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