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Start of World War 3? - Sauce1977 [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Sauce1977

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Start of World War 3? [Mar. 12th, 2004|01:15 am]
Sauce1977
[In the Moment |calmcalm]
[Special Music |Devo - Smart Patrol/Mr. DNA]

In light of crash666's recent post, the muse spoke to me.

Spain could always invade Portugal as part of an attempt to one-up their old rival.

Or Portugal could do the same.

That whole South American continent line agreement was pretty goofy.

Meanwhile, with an underworld lobby to build a legion of Russian mob soldiers, the Russians would try to take back Alaska, citing that it wasn't a fair agreement.

After all, the Russian mob could use the oil money to finance loan-sharking in Eurasia.

Maybe the French would like to voice protest over the sale of the Louisiana Purchase.

As always, they'd be side-tracked by a crippling case of disorganized defense, and two German teenagers with a VW Beetle will drive to Paris and take the French leader hostage, as they put it, "for kicks."

So, while asking for UN relief, they'd slip in the call to the league of nations for aid in attack of the United States.

Possibly, the Mexican government won't settle for losing the Southwest United States. Badges or no stinking badges, the call would be made to the Latin Americans over Univision to begin the reclamation of the S/W USA. Thousands of Latinos would start riots in Los Angeles, Dallas, Phoenix, San Antonio, Houston, and Moscow, Idaho.

Who knows, maybe the 500 or so full-blooded Native Americans could use the casino money to purchase a nuclear bomb, holding the country hostage in a negotiation to have all of their land back in their hands.

However, I don't think the British are quite through in trying to get their hands back on America just yet.

But the British are silly in ways other countries are not. They'll facetiously dazzle us with their brilliant humor, while quietly obtaining the dominion of Canada back . . . using that as a springboard to send actual Red-coated British/Canadian troops over the bridges at Niagra Falls to occupy Buffalo, claiming the Buffalo Bills as a franchise gift to the Queen.

They lost 4 consecutive Super Bowls anyway, thanks to Scott Norwood. Who needs the Bills, anyway . . .

Or the Buffalo for that matter. Bleeding heart Americans will spend the hostage crisis with the Native Americans in protest, eating Buffalo meat, burning pictures of Geronimo. Congress would spend time lobbying for the stiff re-introduction of huge tariffs on British, French, Russian, and Mexican imports. They'd also call for higher taxation on Native American casinos, and probably they'd try to stir up a motion for a trade embargo on Spain and Portugal for good measure.

The President, like Congress, will do as one pleases, calling out the National Guard to quell the Latino riots in the major cities, but first starting in the suburbs, where the Caucasian lynch mobs would be pelted with tank fire.

Switzerland, as always, would voice its allegiance to themselves, and their banks.

However, it would all be in vain, as a Christian fundamentalist convinced he is the 2nd coming of Jesus of Nazareth will suddenly launch into full-blown schizophrenia. Fortified in his apartment, he'll begin to hear the voice of his cat, which claims to be the voice of God. This voice will tell him to obtain or possibly grow a whole buncha Anthrax. In the cover of night, he'll take his truckload of contagion, sneaking into a government air base, where he'll commandeer a high-altitude plane. Suddenly, he'll release the Anthrax into the air over New York City.

Which of course, this will rally Americans to start the war to retake their country.

If you've ever seen the game Fortress America, you may follow, but no game can come up with this stuff.



Political discussion does not move me. Generally, I feel it's the same thing every four years. Forget-Me-Not Elephant vs. Dashing Donkey, with Three Blind Mice stealing a few cheezy votes.

However, when the discussion turns Dr. Strangeglove, I'm all ears.


Capture of the beast.
linkReply

Comments:
[User Picture]From: fruitpunch76
2004-03-12 05:21 am (UTC)

Ummmmm

Ok :op

A lot of this is historical type stuff so I got a bit lost. It's still morning and after sleeping for 12 hours....you get loopy.

Is that you in the picture?
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2004-03-12 05:59 am (UTC)

Re: Ummmmm

Yes, it is.

Circa late 1970s.

I'll fill you in on the humor with history when I can.
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[User Picture]From: fruitpunch76
2004-03-12 06:55 am (UTC)

Re: Ummmmm

Yay! I look forward to it.

You were so cute as a wee lad, and MUCH MUCH MUCH cuter now!

And sex-ay!!!!
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2004-03-12 06:56 am (UTC)

Re: Ummmmm

Thank you!
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[User Picture]From: fruitpunch76
2004-03-12 07:19 am (UTC)

Re: Ummmmm

You're welcome.

You'll receive your reward in just over a month :op
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[User Picture]From: mostlie_sunnie
2004-03-12 06:25 am (UTC)
Aww, I just wanna *squinch* that little cutie pie!
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2004-03-12 06:52 am (UTC)
Thank you.

It is my life's goal to be squinched by the world.
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[User Picture]From: renazle_dazzle
2004-03-12 06:43 am (UTC)

My ex-stepson had ears like that!

You were an adorable baby!! And My grandmother had a lamp exactly like the one in your picture. But I think every one in the 70's had that lamp. :)

"However, it would all be in vain, as a Christian fundamentalist convinced he is the 2nd coming of Jesus of Nazareth will suddenly launch into full-blown schizophrenia."-------I always find it odd that people who suffer from this mental illness believe that they are jesus or god. I knew someone once who had schizophrenia, and he seriously though an incarnation of christ inhabited his body. It was pretty bizarre, amusing and sad all at the same time.
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2004-03-12 06:54 am (UTC)

Re: My ex-stepson had ears like that!

I think there are a few things at play with schizophrenia.

Most notably . . .

1. audio-visual errors . . . they can see and hear things no one else can hear.

2. paranoia/delusions of grandure . . . for whatever reason, the brain misfirings also lend to false perceptions that seem absolutely true.

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[User Picture]From: freys
2004-03-12 07:15 am (UTC)
That was brilliant!

Switzerland, as always, would voice its allegiance to themselves, and their banks. - made me laugh outloud, among others.

But you know, Alaska really wasn't a fair agreement. XD
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2004-03-12 07:16 am (UTC)
Neither was the Louisiana Purchase.

Both were sold out of ignorance, in a way.

I'm glad you liked!
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