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Texas Wins the NCAA National Football Championship. - Sauce1977 [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
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Texas Wins the NCAA National Football Championship. [Jan. 5th, 2006|05:00 pm]
Sauce1977
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[In the Moment |Amazing]



It was Condoms vs. Steers . . . and the steers knew no contraception.

Congratulations to the Texas Longhorns. They are the new national champions of NCAA Football.

The game finished out to be 41-38. The big-time winner? Vince Young.

I watched a story about a childhood accident that Young had. It was serious enough to leave a big scar on his pot-belly. Vince, however, was made stronger from that serious injury. He possessed, on that Wednesday night, the most stone-cold of all performances on that field. In a place where he shouldn't have been that focused, calm, and precise, he showed the world just how tough he was. He pulled out a major win for a team that received half of the credit that USC had been given.

Both teams deserved to be in this championship contest.

2005 USC's offense, from this moment, will be considered one of the greatest juggernauts in history. Texas's defense couldn't hold USC to anything less than 38 points. Despite the national media and their reports of Leinart's "great" game, it was anything but a sliver of the power he displayed in previous contests. On top of this fact, Leinart pulled a Freudian in the on-field post-game interview. To the effect of being asked how he felt in the outcome, he slipped up with half of the word "win," then corrected himself with "loss," and then added a "whatever" in the mush of words.

I'm sorry to report that Matt Leinart probably should have paid more attention on Wednesday. From this moment, he entertains a serious question of which Matt Leinart shows up on any given Sunday. That's a shitty thing for him to have to answer, but if he hadn't featured delay of game penalties, near-interceptions which would have been, if it wasn't for Texas defenders having hooves for hands, and the mind-numbingly stupid roll-out with 8 seconds left in the game, only to throw the ball away 1 second too late, then maybe he wouldn't be sitting somewhere right now, wondering just what the hell happened last night.

Reggie Bush? He was too exuberant. Mistakes like the impromptu lateral/fumble early in the game won't escape him in the pros without a mountain of criticism and zero love. His amateur status, like Leinart's, ended yesterday. No more will they be glossed over by an adoring media with trivial errors. They will be fundamental mistakes in the NFL. That shit won't fly, especially 60 percent of the leaps and other nonsense that Reggie pulled in that game.

This game was all Vince. He was the most noticeable guy of the three who played like a total pro. Dwayne Jarrett on USC made a nice touchdown, late-game, and there were other solid moments, but in this excellent battle, there was a ton of sloppy play. The sloppies featured on defense . . . big-time . . . from both defenses. Despite all of this nonsense, the 2nd half of that game proved to be a flamethrower of awesome.

Oh, and you win this round, Matthew McConaughey . . .


Matthew McConaughey


However . . .

To quote your character, Wooderson, from Dazed and Confused . . .

That's what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age.


Hey Wooderson, do yourself a favor. Stop raiding the panties out the sorority. Go out and do some more great roles in film. Get the fuck out of the team picture.

Oh, and LSU fans and fans of schools in the SEC . . .

I am sorry, but from now on, you have to prove to me that you're not stupid.

Thanks for outing all your inferior genes up in here.

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Comments:
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2006-01-06 03:17 am (UTC)

I thought of you when I went on my LSU = my enemy parade

I know you can separate the bullshit from the nitty-gritty.

It was a great festival of stupid in wake of Texas's win. I felt like I was watching the aftermath of the WS championship of the Boston Red Sox.

A 3-point victory for Texas equaled in response on k0rdell's gig to be 80 points in the eyes of everyone who hated the shit out of USC.

I loved it, since they all outed themselves.
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