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Oh Shit, That's Not in the Script! - Sauce1977 — LiveJournal [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

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Oh Shit, That's Not in the Script! [Jan. 31st, 2006|01:30 am]
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[In the Moment |ZANG]

Tonight's Jimmy Kimmel show featured "TV Host Regis Philbin," "Actress Jordana Brewster" ("spelled like Punky," she said), and "Musical guests 'She Wants Revenge.'"

After Jimmy Kimmel finished a gay-playful segment with Regis, Jordana entered for the next.

During the beginning of the interview, Jordana wildly chomped a wad of gum, and Jimmy became distracted. Suddenly, Jimmy told her that he wanted to chew her gum.

Jordana talked about her gum compulsion. Whenever she is not near a wastebasket, being a sloppy and messy lady that she willingly admitted, she'll take the gum out of her mouth, and she'll put it on a table or near a dresser. Generally, Jordana's gum will end up all over the place.

Then, Jordana took the gum out of her mouth and put it on Jimmy's desk corner.

The crowd shouted a batch of "LOLWTFBBQJORDANA."

Then, Jimmy asked Regis what he thought of this compulsion.

Regis implored Jimmy to eat the gum, since he previously said that he wanted to do it. DARE.

So, Jimmy picked up the gum from the desk and chewed it.

More "LOLOMGWTFBBQJIMMY" happened. Jordana blushed, Regis laughed, and Jimmy continued to chomp.

"Somehow, you're going to get pregnant from this," Jimmy zinged at Jordana.

"LOLOMGJIMMYWTFHAHABBQHAT." She laughed, and she blushed.

Jimmy then commented upon his open and effeminate overtures to Regis. He zanged Regis with an "as if" he wasn't going to chew Jordana's gum. DOUBLE REVERSE DARE.

Jimmy took out the gum from his mouth. So, Regis took Jordana's gum from Jimmy's hand, and he put it in his mouth and chomped it.

By now, it became a flawless victory, since the crowd roared with "BBQMAXWTFJIMMYLOLREGISLOL."

What woulda been really awesome, during the death rattle of the laughter, is if Jordana said, "Oh, and by the way, my herpes flared up today."

That woulda been better than the band, which sucked.

Ba-da-da ba-da-da ba-da-daaah.


[User Picture]From: brushwithrob
2006-01-31 09:51 pm (UTC)
The fact you snuck "BBQ" into the laughter is remarkable.

In other news, my Dad thinks Jordana Brewster is hot. I sort've agree.
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[User Picture]From: brushwithrob
2006-01-31 10:00 pm (UTC)
Lol, sounds like she got owned.

She was in "Fast And The Furious", which is "Point Break" with cars. She's also in the new film "Annapolis".
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2006-01-31 10:05 pm (UTC)
See, I think she has trouble.

I mean, I'm not sure when Groucho Marx eyebrows were the rage, but it just doesn't work. I want to put a moustache on that face.
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[User Picture]From: brushwithrob
2006-01-31 10:18 pm (UTC)
Holy shit, those eyebrows are uber thick. Like fucking catepillars on her forehead.
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2006-01-31 10:20 pm (UTC)

Maybe there's a rule that Jimmy cannot be upstaged.
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[User Picture]From: brushwithrob
2006-01-31 10:31 pm (UTC)
I've only seen Jimmy interview LT, and I liked that a lot. I should really start watching that show as a departure from the other late-nights.
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2006-01-31 10:37 pm (UTC)
I took notice when he zanged Detroit during the '04 NBA Finals.

People got all upset over that one.
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[User Picture]From: brushwithrob
2006-01-31 10:47 pm (UTC)
What did he say?
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2006-01-31 11:21 pm (UTC)
In 2004, he quipped about riots and bonfires if the Pistons would win, but he was 20 years too late with the punchline.

Detroiters heard it, and they went crazy.

Naturally, everyone involved on both sides had a big fit over it.

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[User Picture]From: brushwithrob
2006-01-31 11:26 pm (UTC)
Wow. That's pretty assholeish of him.

And that's a fat fuckin' cat.
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2006-01-31 11:29 pm (UTC)
Yeah, I thought that, too.

Then, I lived in LA, and I lived like about 1 mile from his studio. I went to a couple shows. It was fun.
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[User Picture]From: brushwithrob
2006-02-01 12:01 am (UTC)
That's pretty cool. What time is his show normally on?
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2006-01-31 09:58 pm (UTC)
I still don't know who Jordana is, specifically because she let both Jimmy and Regis owned her.
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2006-01-31 10:12 pm (UTC)
Fuck, I am not doing well at English today.
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