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Oh Shit, That's Not in the Script! - Sauce1977 — LiveJournal [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

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Oh Shit, That's Not in the Script! [Jan. 31st, 2006|01:30 am]
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[In the Moment |ZANG]

Tonight's Jimmy Kimmel show featured "TV Host Regis Philbin," "Actress Jordana Brewster" ("spelled like Punky," she said), and "Musical guests 'She Wants Revenge.'"

After Jimmy Kimmel finished a gay-playful segment with Regis, Jordana entered for the next.

During the beginning of the interview, Jordana wildly chomped a wad of gum, and Jimmy became distracted. Suddenly, Jimmy told her that he wanted to chew her gum.

Jordana talked about her gum compulsion. Whenever she is not near a wastebasket, being a sloppy and messy lady that she willingly admitted, she'll take the gum out of her mouth, and she'll put it on a table or near a dresser. Generally, Jordana's gum will end up all over the place.

Then, Jordana took the gum out of her mouth and put it on Jimmy's desk corner.

The crowd shouted a batch of "LOLWTFBBQJORDANA."

Then, Jimmy asked Regis what he thought of this compulsion.

Regis implored Jimmy to eat the gum, since he previously said that he wanted to do it. DARE.

So, Jimmy picked up the gum from the desk and chewed it.

More "LOLOMGWTFBBQJIMMY" happened. Jordana blushed, Regis laughed, and Jimmy continued to chomp.

"Somehow, you're going to get pregnant from this," Jimmy zinged at Jordana.

"LOLOMGJIMMYWTFHAHABBQHAT." She laughed, and she blushed.

Jimmy then commented upon his open and effeminate overtures to Regis. He zanged Regis with an "as if" he wasn't going to chew Jordana's gum. DOUBLE REVERSE DARE.

Jimmy took out the gum from his mouth. So, Regis took Jordana's gum from Jimmy's hand, and he put it in his mouth and chomped it.

By now, it became a flawless victory, since the crowd roared with "BBQMAXWTFJIMMYLOLREGISLOL."

What woulda been really awesome, during the death rattle of the laughter, is if Jordana said, "Oh, and by the way, my herpes flared up today."

That woulda been better than the band, which sucked.

Ba-da-da ba-da-da ba-da-daaah.


[User Picture]From: ellie
2006-01-31 11:48 pm (UTC)
Apparently he does, thus confirming his sucktastic status.
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2006-01-31 11:52 pm (UTC)
What would be cool is if, while she was doing that, he starts talking about whipping out some spy-shit, like a thin pencil-cam, shoving the snake-cam under the door, taping it, and then, like, selling the tape on eBay.
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