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Mitchum, Kombat, Berry, Anus. [Apr. 7th, 2006|03:00 pm]
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[Current Location |Detroit, MI]

I got the movie watching bug in me.

Paul W.S. Anderson, the dude who is going to bring you fine people yet another video game movie in 2007 (Castlevania), had TNT network love last night with the showing of Mortal Kombat.

Every time I watch Mortal Kombat, it gets worse. Yet, I can't help but watch it when they play it on TV. This is due to the many hours of my life spent watching my friends play this game. I was no good at it, but hey, I can't get "flawless victory" out of my head, much like I can't get the mental image of my friend Matt running around with a makeshift Rayden hat on his head.

W.S. Anderson also did Resident Evil, which runs neck and neck with my other favorite of his, Alien vs. Predator.

Clearly, W.S. Anderson pines to be the best video game movie director, ever.

John "Stinking Badges" Huston's film Heaven Knows, Mr. Allison played on AMC. That one was Mitchumtastic. It's a neat WW2-era film. Marine and a nun, stranded on an island in the Pacific . . . seriously, I'm not kidding.

I really enjoyed Huston's The Treasure of the Sierra Madre. It's been a while since I've watched Sierra Madre. I watched that over six years ago, along with another gem, Herzog's Aguirre, der Zorn Gottes.

It's been a while now that I think about it, since I watched these two with my friend Brad. He hadn't started film school. As of today, Brad's got his masters in film, and he's escaped.

I started thinking, sometime around the conclusion of Mortal Kombat, well, of the number of truly horrible films I've watched.

Some of them were fantastic rancid whoppers. Batman & Robin comes to mind. I also had a friend show me Catwoman. That one, well, whew. Halle Berry had a jag of shitty films, and the other one I remember was Gothika.

Then, I stumbled upon the Wiki-link for films considered the worst ever, and man, apparently that Larry the Cable Guy already has a place on the page.

Then, I noticed the listing for Anus Magillicutty.

Well-well-well, snakes on a plane.

I think I'll pass on Anus.


[User Picture]From: mizcrank
2006-04-07 07:22 pm (UTC)
I LOVED mortal kombat, and still do.

Now, Mortal Kombat 2? It just offends me. I tried watching it the other day, and couldn't get past the first 5 minutes.
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2006-04-07 07:25 pm (UTC)
Resident Evil 2 was a laugher, from what I remember in the movie theatre.

I think it's infinitely more horrible to be in the theatre and witness the stinker. Somehow, Catwoman didn't hurt as much as Batman & Robin, 8MM, and Duplex.
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[User Picture]From: mizcrank
2006-04-07 07:36 pm (UTC)
co-signed on Catwoman
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[User Picture]From: ryceratops
2006-04-07 08:44 pm (UTC)
Dude, go see Slither at the theatre. foreallio.
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2006-04-08 07:57 am (UTC)

There's not one A-list player on the bill, and there's an appearance by Rob Zombie.

This one has to be an enjoyable shitty film, what with a 7.1 rating on IMDB . . . very interesting.

When's it come out on DVD?
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[User Picture]From: ryceratops
2006-04-08 12:56 pm (UTC)
no that's what makes it great. They didnt want an all star cast. everyone in the town is unattractive (except for the lead female).

And Mal from Firefly/Serenety is in it too.
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2006-04-08 10:39 pm (UTC)
I watched that film w/o watching the series.

Like the last Harry Potter joint, they chose to just pick up the movie with the implied knowledge. Not making films standalone . . . well, it's disappointing.

Not everything is Star Wars and Star Trek, I guess.
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2006-04-07 07:26 pm (UTC)
I can barely remember Mortal Kombat 2, also. Wow. That means that I've been trying to fight that part of my recollection, so it clearly stank.
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[User Picture]From: prophecy03
2006-04-07 08:02 pm (UTC)
Damn, I think the dude's funny, but I don't think I'ma go see that movie anymore.
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2006-04-07 08:08 pm (UTC)
They're rolling out some real turds, from what people are talking about, lately.

Sharon Stone's almost fifty, and there's a Basic Instinct 2.

Time to start playin' Gramma.
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[User Picture]From: brushwithrob
2006-04-07 09:09 pm (UTC)
"Micthumtastic" = Now part of my vocabulary.

You know you poked the bear by writing about film, right? Now I've got to voice my opinions.

"Mortal Kombat" had some true "That was fucking awesome" moments. Unfortunately, they were few and far between and were tossed into a film that should resemble (in spirit, anyway) "Enter The Dragon", but fails miserably.

"Resident Evil" was a 14 million dollar movie. This was the price initially tossed at the Production Company (Screen Gems?). It ballooned to the mid-20's, I believe before it started to roll.

Interestingly enough, George Romero's draft of the film (http://www.residentevilfan.ws/umbrellacorp/media/script.html) had a 12 million dollar tag attached to it, and the script (I read it years ago) was great. It included the shark, the Tyrant, all the things that made the first game great.

Strange they'd go with a film that ended up costing close to two times what they initially invested, when they could've just given Romero a nice average 15 million dollars and you would've pleased the game's fans, the legend's fans, and horror fans wouldn't have had to wait until "Bruiser" (see this if you haven't) came out for another Romero flick to drop.

Horrible films that spring to mind:
Just about every modern horror flick in recent memory (as you remember our discussion on my previous LJ entry).

"Date Movie" was God-awful, too.
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2006-04-08 07:52 am (UTC)
Yeah, Enter the Dragon is one of my favorites. Mortal Kombat would be like the A-level in minor leagues, and Enter's the starting all-star on the pro team.

Lately, Hollywood films are dogging at the box. I think I haven't seen so many putrid ratings on the rottentomatoes.com website in a while, as they are on there now.
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[User Picture]From: brushwithrob
2006-04-08 04:31 pm (UTC)
I actually swung by there yesterday in a desperate effort to get some info and have thus far come up with nothing.

I'm not sure how into Asian cinema you are, as in, the modern stuff, but if you're looking to be engaged intellectually, I highly suggest you check some shit out.
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2006-04-09 11:38 am (UTC)
Far East has some smoking awesome films, exactly as you've described . . . well crafted, great minds there.
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[User Picture]From: holzerhedrpca
2006-04-07 09:45 pm (UTC)
This Castlevania movie better not suck, or else I'm going to riot.

Either that, or bust out Castlevania III for my NES.
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2006-04-08 07:53 am (UTC)
I must have River City Ransom.

Seriously, that game was sweet. What other games at the time built up your character's strength by various foods?
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[User Picture]From: pierce
2006-04-07 11:29 pm (UTC)

An Ed Wood-style science fiction film featuring an actor dressed in a gorilla suit with a diving helmet. The director attempted suicide shortly after its release.

dude. that about sums it up.
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2006-04-08 07:54 am (UTC)

I never watched that one. That sounded pretty dubious, when I read it.
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[User Picture]From: lordjunon
2006-04-08 04:11 pm (UTC)
Whats sad is.. i actually LIKED a couple of those movies wiki mentioned.

Battlefield earth (book is a million times better but i didnt think it was THAT bad)
Howard the duck. (Come on.. it was neat)
Stop or my mom will shoot (strange i know)
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[User Picture]From: lordjunon
2006-04-08 04:12 pm (UTC)
oh and i'm glad that larry the cable guy movie tanked worse than i thought.
I HATE him.
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2006-04-08 10:43 pm (UTC)
There are some films perceived as mediocre or poor which I like.

Surviving the Game rates as mediocre, but I love the shit out of that film.

There are others . . . my memory's foggy.
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