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Death in the Family. - Death in the Family. - Sauce1977 Page 2 — LiveJournal [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Sauce1977

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Death in the Family. [Aug. 1st, 2006|06:00 am]
Sauce1977
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[Current Location |Detroit, MI, USA]



Early Monday morning, I received a phone call from my aunt.

She asked me, voice slightly cracking, to wake my mother, and she asked me to come with her to the hospital.

My aunt briefly explained that she had called 911 for an ambulance to rush my grandfather to the hospital.

I told her that we'd be there as soon as possible. I went and gently woke my mother, letting her know that grandpa was back in the hospital. She took a few minutes to ready herself, and we drove to the hospital. It was approximately 3 AM.

I told my mom that I'd be right into the emergency room after I finished a smoke. She walked in ahead of me.

The next thing I hear and see is my mother, running out of the emergency doors, wailing, "Oh, no, he's deeead! He's dead, oh God, noooo . . . "

My grandfather, on July 31st, who was to turn 90 later this August, died of heart failure.

With emergencies, I'm alert, and I'm focused.

The little things, however, kill me.Collapse )

You see, I expected my grandfather to make a full recovery.Collapse )

Around this time, many things happened. Most were not pleasant.Collapse )

We had to make a trip back to my grandfather's house to help my aunt collect her things. She was to have stayed overnight with grandpa.

We proceeded to shut down most of the stuff in the house. I went upstairs to turn off a fan, which I found near my grandfather's room.

He hadn't slept in his bed for many weeks, but I could feel the familiarity of the house and his room, and in his room, I uttered, "I'm sorry, grandpa."

The sorry, really, was for myself.Collapse )

I have much to do in the next days. Most of the extended family may not yet know about his death. I have reached only one friend, Jim, over the phone, and I've yet to contact other friends. I need to get a proper dark suit for the visitation and funeral, as most of such suits that I've owned do not fit, as they are from my childhood. I need a haircut.

His funeral will be Saturday.

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Comments:
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2006-08-08 12:45 am (UTC)
Usually, I'm the same way with words and these situations.

This actually helped, however . . . reading these during this week, it made a difference. Collectively, and individually, this actually lifted me.

Thank you.
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From: jennybloog
2006-08-01 11:12 pm (UTC)
I'm so very sorry to hear about this... my sympathies to you and your family!
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2006-08-08 12:48 am (UTC)
Thank you.

We'll all miss him, the family and the relatives, not just me. Everyone loved him.

He would have been happy with his services and funeral.

Apparently, many people remarked without provocation that it was touching beyond the norm, from p.o.v. of the outsiders.

All of his six grandchildren, including myself, managed to do their duties as pallbearers.
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From: acid_burn_007
2006-08-02 12:28 am (UTC)
I'm sorry about your grandfather.
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2006-08-08 12:59 am (UTC)
Thank you.

No matter where you end up in the medical profession, I have a piece of advice, from this experience.

Always make the extra effort with the elderly, no matter how they are, no matter how they behave.

My grandfather had plenty of tender loving care from his family, but not all of the elderly have that much family in their corner. The care from the hospital wasn't going to match our own, but it wasn't even nominal, in consensus.

No matter how well you are with diagnosis or duties, a doctor or nurse is merely mediocre if they haven't a personable nature.

That is precisely the majority of one's actual grade in the medical industry, I feel. So much is not known yet about the human biology . . . much progress has been made, but we're all still pretty murky on cause and effect, I guess . . . look at tobacco. That wasn't really addressed by the medical community for decades after tests showed what was going on with the cancer.

No matter how busy you are, and no matter how tired you may be, when it comes to the elderly, that is time well spent in extra effort.

Do this, and you will likely separate yourself from the rest. You will likely be revered.
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From: all_gr0wed_up
2006-08-02 04:19 am (UTC)
My friend Sauce. While there's probably nothing I can say to make you feel better about the whole situation, I will say that no matter what you and your family are in my thoughts. I was in a similar situation a little over a year ago, so if you need to chat lemme know.

Hang in there buddy.
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2006-08-08 01:03 am (UTC)
Thank you for the response. You're right, there's little to say, but saying it, regardless, helped.

This was my last living grandparent. The first went before I was born, on my dad's side. The other three were difficult to take, and it never really heals, since we're somewhat selfish. We want everyone to be here, in the flesh, since that's all we see, and to the senses, that's all there really is, mostly.

His memories, I'll never forget him.

I will hang in there . . . and again, thank you.
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[User Picture]From: anima
2006-08-02 07:05 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry for your loss.
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2006-08-08 01:03 am (UTC)
Thank you.

The thought counts. I appreciate it.
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From: panic_vision
2006-08-02 09:25 pm (UTC)
Sorry for your loss, man.
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2006-08-08 01:05 am (UTC)
Thank you.

This man was part of my wealth of sports . . . he'd witnessed so many events, and some of them, he witnessed in person, at the stadiums. He turned me on to sports. Sports won't be the same for me. I will, however, carry on, since it was his love of sports that spawned my own.
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[User Picture]From: smkndawonderful
2006-08-08 01:35 pm (UTC)
Thinking of you ...

T'
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2006-08-08 06:22 pm (UTC)
Thank you.
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[User Picture]From: cobaltbluetony
2006-08-09 02:52 pm (UTC)
I'm very sorry to hear about your grandfather. My own maternal grandfather was the closest I'd had to a father figure in my life, and he held a near-reverential place in my heart.
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2006-08-09 07:27 pm (UTC)
We are one in the same.

Thank you.
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[User Picture]From: thedeadfisharmy
2006-08-09 08:43 pm (UTC)
Your picture reminded me that I'd been so caught up in my own life that I'd never offered condolences. Both my grandfathers died when I was in grade school, and that was hard enough to take, but to have gotten to know him as an adult and then lose him so suddenly... A raw deal, to be sure.

I hope that you and he are both finding peace, in your respective worlds.
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2006-08-09 08:53 pm (UTC)
Thank you.
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