Sauce1977 (sauce1977) wrote,

Real Men of Genius Proposals: Michigan, USC.

On January 1st, 2007, the Michigan Wolverines and USC Trojans will face off in the 93rd Rose Bowl Game.

I just wrote these two ditties this morning. Anyone with announcing, singing, and satire skill should feel free to see what they can do with this.

For anyone in the universe not familiar with "Real Men of Genius," get a taste.


Real Men of Genius: Mr. Hail Hail to Michigan Fan

Real Men of Genius (Reaaaaal Men Of Genius)

Today we salute you, Mr. Hail Hail to Michigan Fan. (Mr. Hail Hail to Michigan Fan!)

Season after season, year after year, you try to focus ahead on one final game. (Look out Ohio Sta-aaate!)

"Just wait until the end of the year," you say, as your school just lost to an early season unranked opponent (Ron Zook, we'll give you charity one of these days!)

Sometimes, your school will feel the need to drop a second game to Michigan State. (Watch them riot in East Lansing!)

You will point out that you have more wins than any other program as though that is relevant to the current season. (Only Rutgers played more gaaa-aaaames!)

Pull out that fight song and rivalry game with Ohio State as the reason why Michigan should be champions every year. (The leaders and the beee-eesssst!)

So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, oh Northern School Elitist, and take comfort knowing that when you don't win your bowl game, you'll be back to a top ten rank when the preseason polls come out next year. (Mr. Hail Hail to Michigan Fan!)


Real Men of Genius: Mr. Trojans Southern California Fan

Real Men of Genius (Reaaaaal Men Of Genius)

Today we salute you, Mr. Trojans Southern California Fan. (Mr. Trojans Southern California Fan!)

Here's to the fans that believe the Pac-10 should be renamed Southern California Conference (The world revolves around Los Angeles!)

Sometimes, your arch rival, UCLA, will feel the need to bring you a batch of disappointment. (I'm a Bruins fan now!)

You will point out that you have more celebrities on the sidelines than any other school. (Hey, I just scored some Lakers front row tickets!)

You would be the first to point out that the abbreviation "USC" should belong only to the Trojans. (Spurrier uses latex!)

So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, oh Valley Centric Solar System, and take comfort knowing that when you come up short in popularity contests, even the lowliest fan can take comfort in having more popularity than O.J. Simpson. (Mr. Trojans Southern California Fan!)


As for the possible yawner that could be that #1 vs. #2 game, this is not the first time that a web-footed Florida Gators prostitute and a Napoleon-complex-addled Ohio State school worked together to help one of the schools win a national beauty contest.

This paragraph was put together by Andrew Lee, describing that glorious 1996 Gators football season:

The Gators have had many memorable games over the years, the most memorable being their National Championship game in 1997. The Gators won their first 10 games of the 1996 season including a 35 – 29 shootout between Danny Wuerffel and Peyton Manning before facing their arch rival Florida State. FSU defeated Florida 21 – 24 but there was much controversy that the FSU players were obviously out to get Wuerffel and told to hit him on every play. This resulted in many late hits that weren’t called by the referees. Fortunately for the Gators they got a 45 – 30 win over Alabama in the SEC Championship and Texas upset #3 Nebraska moving Florida to #3 and getting a rematch in the Sugar Bowl against FSU. This time Florida cruised to a 52 – 20 win over FSU and when #2 Arizona State was knocked off by #4 Ohio State in the Rose Bowl, Florida won the National Championship.

It's nice to know that what goes around doesn't come around.

USC and Michigan have faced off more than a few times in the Rose Bowl. I'm a fan of both schools.

Tags: beer, bud light, lapdance, michigan, usc

  • Brontë Sisters Power Dolls! (found via fsfwannabe)


  • Guess Who's Back!

    Don't call it a comeback. I been here for years. And it feels soooooooo goood. The USA has spoken, and Trump is out the door come January.…

  • Symbol of Distress.

    Dear friends, family, and otherwise: I will never likely leave LiveJournal. It has been a great source among many in which I have found myself…

  • Post a new comment


    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded