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Old Email Circulation . . . - Sauce1977 [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

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Old Email Circulation . . . [Aug. 6th, 2003|02:17 am]
[In the Moment |crazycrazy]
[Special Music |Dr. Octagon - Waiting List [DJ Shadow/Automaster Mix]]

My friend Brad, one of the members of my Bestest Buddies circle, sent me this one a while back . . .

My mom's a teacher. My dad was a teacher, and two relatives are/were teachers. My friend Jason subs. We're a teachin' type.

Without further ado, the circulation:

After being interviewed by the school administration, the eager teaching prospect said:

"Let me see if I've got this right. You want me to go into that room with all those kids, and fill their every waking moment with a love for learning.

"And I'm supposed to instill a sense of pride in their ethnicity, modify their disruptive behavior, observe them for signs of abuse and even censor their T-shirt messages and dress habits.

"You want me to wage a war on drugs and sexually transmitted diseases, check their backpacks for weapons of mass destruction, and raise their self esteem.

"You want me to teach them patriotism, good citizenship, sportsmanship, fair play, how to register to vote, how to balance a checkbook, and how to apply for a job.

"I am to check their heads for lice, maintain a safe environment,
recognize signs of antisocial behavior, offer advice, write letters of recommendation for student employment and scholarships, encourage respect for the cultural diversity of others, and oh, make sure that I give the girls in my class fifty percent of my attention. My contract requires me to work on my own time after school, evenings and weekends grading papers.

"Also, I must spend my summer vacation at my own expense working toward advance certification and a Masters degree.

"And on my own time you want me to attend committee and faculty meetings, PTA meetings, and participate in staff development training.

"I am to be a paragon of virtue, larger than life, such that my very
presence will awe my students into being obedient and respectful of authority. And I am to pledge allegiance to family values and this current administration.

"You want me to incorporate technology into the learning experience, monitor web sites, and relate personally with each student.

"That includes deciding who might be potentially dangerous and/or liable to commit a crime in school.

"I am to make sure all students pass the mandatory state exams, even those who don't come to school regularly or complete any of their assignments. Plus, I am to make sure that all of the students get an equal education regardless of the extent of their mental or physical handicap.

"And I am to communicate regularly with the parents by letter, telephone, newsletter and report card.

"All of this I am to do with just a piece of chalk, a computer, a few
books, a bulletin board, a big smile AND on a starting salary that
qualifies my family for food stamps!

"You want me to do all of this and yet you expect me:


[User Picture]From: hudoovoodoodoll
2003-08-06 09:32 am (UTC)

you can do it all I have every faith in you and it'll prolly help out alot if ya pray and if you'd like I'll pray for you <3Melvin
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[User Picture]From: icouldhavelied
2003-08-06 11:10 am (UTC)
Both my parents are teachers too so I appreciate this :)
I'm emailing it to 'em.
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2003-08-06 11:12 am (UTC)
Teachers have it a lil' rough, considering the quality of kids in their classroom has gone down, considering the number of kids shoved in a classroom has increased, considering the number of parents expect them to be their 'daytime' parent in the classroom . . .

I understand teaching enough to surely use teaching as a last resort. LOL.
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From: sub_conscious
2003-08-06 04:20 pm (UTC)

i like being the sarcastic monkey swinging in the trees

a friend once told me... praying is for suckers.

i firmly believe that he just may actually be right.

i come from a family of teachers. both parents taught as well as other relatives. [i swear we're connected somehow] and one thing i know is that teaching is the worst job to have period.
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2003-08-06 07:56 pm (UTC)

Re: i like being the sarcastic monkey swinging in the trees

Damn straight.

I saw that one coming.

Another relative thought I should be a priest.

That one just baffled me, considering I had a flair for proper emphasis with cuss words.
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