|Valentine's Day Surprise, Anger, Alienation, Then Resolution.
||[Feb. 16th, 2004|05:15 pm]
|[||In the Moment
|||||Four Tet - Misnomer||]|
This Valentine's Day note was taped to our door from our dear neighbor, who made this their first attempt to talk to us.
Okay folks, this was the very first communication we received from our next-door neighbors in over the one month we've been here.
Well, I overheard the woman say, "And he's smoking again!" with the slamming-shut of their window, just a handful of days after we moved in our place.
Back then, we laughed about that, and then over this time, we figured everything was fine, considering nothing further was said.
I even forgot about the window-slamming . . . until I found the note on Saturday.
I live next door in #211, and I talked to the office.
Who are you? You haven't said hello once. By the way, hello? Hmmm. You talked to the office? Funny, I went down there. The dynamic, wonderful and talented office manager didn't have any idea what you're talking about . . . she was surprised by the note.
I'm allergic to [sic] ciggarette smoke & last night I was in the emergency room for a migraine.
I am a conscientious person, and I care about the well-being of others. Which, in light of this note, I was surprised to hear about an emergency visit. Having allergies suck, but you didn't know that I have allergies too. Hay fever happens big time with my system, and I suffer from headaches and sneezing and stuffy sinuses when that allergen gets heavy in the air.
Plus, we're all allergic to the ingredients in tobacco smoke, Miss Mysterious Complainer.
Yet, some of us are addicted to it, and some of us actually ingest it multiple times, daily.
Emergency room? Was this an attempt to create sympathy? I don't even know you, and so this must be a weak argument, considering you haven't even spoken to us.
I'm tired of having to close my windows when you go out to smoke, it comes clear to the [sic] dinning room.
Well, I guess you got back at me in particular. I felt surprised, then embarrassed, due to the fact that it was taped on our door for everybody to see. Then I felt angry all weekend.
I'm also a very conscientious smoker, someone who deliberately makes sure that his smoke doesn't get in others' faces and puts out his cigarettes. However, after double-checking with the office, it is perfectly legal to smoke on the balcony.
Also, we don't like certain things too. We don't like when the upstairs neighbors drink, yell, and then proceed to chase each other around the house. Then someone gets a beating, because you can hear physical scuffling upstairs, and banging, to all hours of the early morning, every night, audible as a high bit-rate mp3, in our bedrooms.
We don't voice direct complaint toward the others, however, since it's not our business.
We also don't assume anything, because it makes asses out of the target of assumption and the one who assumes. Makes an ass out of you and me, right . . . yet I smell a lot of assumption in this note.
Can you please go out the other door to smoke.
The only other door is the front door to the hallway lobby. That's a public walkway, and public enclosed places are prohibited by law against smoking.
I'm not smoking inside our apartment. As much as I'm addicted, I also don't want to smell it all the time in the apartment. Granted, it's illogical, considering I have no problem with ashtray breath, and it doesn't bother me that there's a cake of tar in my lungs. Such are the things with addictions to legal tobacco. The fact remains, it's legal to smoke out on our private balcony.
I pay rent also.
I'm glad you aren't living here free.
And 2nd hand smoke is becoming a problem.
Yes, it's becoming a huge problem, considering the solution to the situation, closing the windows to the apartment, isn't something you want to do for yourself, considering that it's the one thing in your control that you can do to keep yourself from smelling the smoke.
If only you took the time to know me.
What you don't know is that one of my best friends has migraine attacks, and I know a little about migraines. Cigarette smoke is a cause, but it is not the only cause.
Plus, Los Angeles air isn't exactly healthy and clean. The common joke for smokers here is that at least we're healthier because we're breathing our air through a filter.
However, put the joke aside, Miss Mysterious Complainer. You're assuming that I should cease doing something that is my legal right because it bothers you.
So yeah, you made your point. I cringed, going out for each of the 30 or so cig-smokes I proceeded to have over the weekend after finding the note, hoping I didn't run into you until I went down to the manager's office on Monday Morning.
Then, this morning the manager and I had a few minutes of polite, detailed, and professional conversation. She agreed that the note was rude, considering you haven't talked to us once in the month we've been here.
We don't ever want to be bothered with something like this again because we are doing nothing wrong.
I can be approached, and we can still have a pleasant, relationship-building conversation.
Last-straw stress or no, it's no reason to embarrass me. It's also no reason to leave a strange note that made me feel alienated, unsure, and rather angry.
If only you knew me, you'd know why your complaint about my smoking is one of my strongest pet peeves with regards to others.
I feel strongly about the right to smoke tobacco.
There is reason for concern. Smoking is bad for our health.
In the United States, the anti-smoking sentiment grows.
However, smoking cost me my job at a former employer, due to the lack of understanding and the resulting dislike from the company's director.
I was a valued employee, with some of the highest quality marks, but it didn't matter one bit, because I smoked.
My own family and friends do not have the right to order me to do anything about my smoking.
I don't like being addicted to nicotine, but only those who have smoked about a pack or more a day can understand the agony of quitting smoking, something I cannot afford the time to spend, ironically enough, as it's very expensive financially to upkeep the addiction.
Thetruth.com is good at putting out the words on the dangerous long-term effects of smoking. However, the 'good fight' they so arrogantly fight against the tobacco companies should be directed at the United States Government.
The US Government organized and implemented 'sin taxes' on our smokes and alcohol. The US Government collects and profits from the tobacco and alcohol producers.
Thetruth.com spins its wheels, fighting a battle against the wrong people.
What Thetruth.com does accomplish is the feeding of anti-smoking opinions. They do it so well, and as a result, non-smokers feel righteous and less-caring toward smokers in their objections.
It's the very feeding of the opinions of people that cause the average person to be ignorant of the feelings and rights of others, so much so, that non-smokers feel justified in objections to smokers.
However, I won't assume anything about our neighbors.
Whether or not they are of the sentiment of anti-smokers doesn't matter. Leaving a strange note, based on weak arguments and assumptions, that's just downright insulting in its self-justification.
However, in final analysis, my sentiment, given the assumptions and frustrations, is as follows.
Don't do handstands in frustration.
There's no reason for this to turn into something out of an Alfred Hitchcock movie.
I am not a crook.
I'm nice, friendly, approachable, and most of all, understanding of others.
I don't expect it in return.
However, I don't appreciate being treated rudely.
Well, Miss Mysterious Complainer, I can let this one slide in time. We can possibly be friendly neighbors in the future. However, as this whole note-leaving dysfunction spearheads the demonstration of how you've been toward us so far, until you change your approach, I say, smoke 'em if you got 'em.