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Cowboys and Indians Jokes, My Odd "Funny" Tendencies. - Sauce1977 [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
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Cowboys and Indians Jokes, My Odd "Funny" Tendencies. [Feb. 28th, 2004|04:45 pm]
Sauce1977
[In the Moment |confusedconfused]

I'm notorious for messing up jokes in person.

My spontaneous humor flexes much stronger. I'm just not a good joke teller.

The following is the original forwarded joke about the Indian and the coffee.

****************************************************

An Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand and a bucket of
buffalo manure in the other. He says to the waiter, "Me want coffee."
The waiter says, "Sure chief, coming right up." He gets the Indian a tall mug of coffee, and the Indian drinks it down in one gulp, picks up the bucket of manure, throws it into the air, blasts it with the shotgun, then just walks out.



The next morning the Indian returns. He has his shotgun in one hand and
a bucket of buffalo manure in the other. He walks up to the counter and
says to the waiter, "Me want coffee."

The waiter says, "Whoa, Tonto. We're still cleaning up your mess from
the last time you were here. What the heck was all that about, anyway?"

The Indian smiles and proudly says, "Me training for upper management
position: Come in, drink coffee, shoot shit, leave mess for others to
clean up, disappear for rest of day."


*********************************************



Now, for my re-version of the joke, the one about the cowboy and the coffee.

My version: The cowboy and the coffee.

A cowboy jingles into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand and a bucket of buffalo manure in the other. He says to the waiter, "I need some coffee."

The waiter says, "Sure cowpoke, coming right up," and serves him a cup of coffee.

The cowboy drinks the coffee in one gulp, picks up the bucket of manure, throws it into the air, blasts it with the shotgun, and walks out of the cafe.

The next morning the cowboy returns. He has his shotgun in one hand and a bucket of buffalo manure. He walks up to the counter and says to the waiter, "Gimme some coffee."

The waiter points a finger and says, "Whoa, Wyatt Earp. We're still cleaning up your mess from yesterday. What the heck are you doing?"

The cowboy smiles and says, "I'm in training for an upper management
position. I come in, drink some coffee, shoot the shit, and leave a mess for others to clean up. Then I disappear for the rest of the day."

***********************************


Now that I think of it, for whatever reason, when a joke is told, I think of Joe Pesci, saying, "Funny? Ha-Ha Funny?!?" and a beat-down.

I also rarely watch talk shows.

I did, however, really enjoy The Boondock Saints last night. I believe Willem Dafoe put forth one of his finest roles, outside of the CIA agent in the Tom Clancy ditty and the Spiderman bad guy.

I find Stephen Wright insanely humorous. He's probably my favorite comedian, next to Jerry Seinfeld.

Dark humor, aka gallows humor, aka grim jokes, they're my personal favorites.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: gjenkins05
2004-02-28 05:37 pm (UTC)
In either form it is pretty funny, lol.
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2004-02-28 06:08 pm (UTC)
I thought so too.

I think I changed the character to suit my Japanese tendencies to want to improve on an existing product.

Never it is clear what the other is thinking.
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[User Picture]From: zero_flashpoint
2004-02-28 05:54 pm (UTC)
Fucking hell that was boring.
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2004-02-28 06:03 pm (UTC)
How so?
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[User Picture]From: fruitpunch76
2004-02-28 06:49 pm (UTC)

You are not a bad joke teller

You are able to make me laugh at jokes ALL the time and I love them all, and I love you!!!!
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2004-02-28 06:57 pm (UTC)

Re: You are not a bad joke teller

I love you too.

Cleaning out my old email account inbox tends to make me a bit depressed.

Work makes me depressed.

Depression makes me depressed.
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[User Picture]From: fruitpunch76
2004-02-28 07:06 pm (UTC)

Re: You are not a bad joke teller

I know my love, you will be ok though.

I had to take out my contacts for the night. Back to my glasses I am.
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2004-02-28 07:09 pm (UTC)

Re: You are not a bad joke teller

Wheee!

Glasses and contacts, contacts and glasses!

We can't see very well without our instruments, can we?
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[User Picture]From: fruitpunch76
2004-02-28 07:17 pm (UTC)

Re: You are not a bad joke teller

Nope, I am blind as a bat.

The eye doctor kept asking me if anyone told me I had 20/20 vision or not....I told him no one has mentioned either way what type of vision I have. He never elaborated....wierd. I think he was trying to get through his appointments as he got behind today. He was nice, just seemed rushed. He did a good job though.
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2004-02-28 07:25 pm (UTC)

Re: You are not a bad joke teller

He just wanted to know if you had previously had perfect vision . . . some indication of your past history.

It certainly was not a set-up for a punchline, "Because youuuuuu're as blindasaBAT!"

That's how I would have wrote the story today. :D

Anyway, I'm just bleh, and eh, and whatevah, and stuff.
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[User Picture]From: fruitpunch76
2004-02-28 07:32 pm (UTC)

Re: You are not a bad joke teller

I know I'm blind as a bat....maybe I'm a VAMPIRE BAT.....muah ha haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2004-02-28 07:35 pm (UTC)

Re: You are not a bad joke teller

I too am a vampire bat. A vampire bat with a thirst for the flesh of the salmon and the fiber of the rice.

And the Italian-Style Wedding Soup.

Of which all I have feasted upon as of now, with a turkey and cheese sammich being one of the victims from 7-11 earlier today.
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[User Picture]From: fruitpunch76
2004-02-28 07:43 pm (UTC)

Re: You are not a bad joke teller

You are funny. And loveable, and squeezable, and mine!
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2004-02-28 07:45 pm (UTC)

Re: You are not a bad joke teller

Your cow icon spurs me to want to eat beef.

Also, considering it's from a Chick Fil A ad, I guess it demonstrates that we all do not respond the same way to messages.

Also, it makes me think of you. I miss you, and I wish you were here.
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[User Picture]From: fruitpunch76
2004-02-28 07:56 pm (UTC)

Re: You are not a bad joke teller

Ditto
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[User Picture]From: anthrogeek
2004-02-28 07:03 pm (UTC)
i keep hearing about that film -- i might check it out.
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2004-02-28 07:09 pm (UTC)
So did I . . . and then, I finally watched it!

Man, was it a wonderfully-crafted film. The story is odd, and the non-conventional twists and turns point away from the earmarks of your standard great story . . .

However, even with Willem Dafoe putting on a pair of panties and infiltrating a crime boss's mansion, this one's a cat-exploding good time.
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[User Picture]From: _crack_my_ribs
2004-02-28 10:03 pm (UTC)

funny.

both jokes to me brought a chuckle.

dark humor is the best.
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2004-02-29 03:03 pm (UTC)

Dark Humor Quick-Shots.

Death Becomes Her was a good dark humor film.

Same with I Love You to Death and Serial Mom. :D
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