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Flim-Flam-SPAM. - Sauce1977 [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

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Flim-Flam-SPAM. [Apr. 30th, 2004|05:30 pm]
[In the Moment |calmcalm]
[Special Music |Peril Elle - Tomorrow]

On April 30, 2004, idris_muzanda@tiscali.co.uk wrote:


Dear Friend,

I know this letter will come to you as a surprise but let it not be, for nature has a way of arriving unannounced and an adage says '' Originals are very hard to find but there echo sounds louder'' while I was searching for a reliable and honest person, who can do this business with me, from the internet that is how i get in contact with you. So I decided to contact you myself for you to assure me of safety and honesty if I have to entrust any amount of money under your custody.

My boss is one of the recently, compulsorily retired Army Generals by the democratic Government of Chief Olusegun Obasanjo. He is sadly also one of the officers who are facing probes for allegedly looting the government treasure while serving under the government of the pass government. I am fired from service too. All his assets have been confiscated by the government and banks account frozen, along side other involved officers. Before this situation degenerated to this stage he arranged and deposited the sum of Forty million United States DOllars USD$40,000,000.00) cash to a security /finance company in Oversea Sub-regional whose location will be revealed to you after your response in your interest to assist me. This amount of money was moved safety to the Security / Finance Company in concealed boxes as a ''family valuables and precious items" due to the way my boss deposit it through a diplomatic channel.

Now, I have been empowered by my boss to see that this money is quickly lifted safely out of the security company to an oversea account of a trusted foreign family friend without delay for security reasons, and to enhance family relocation and investment into any viable business venture in your Country. I have all deposit information and documents as handed over to my boss.

We are going to begin the process of changing the beneficiary to your favour to enable you claim the fund from the security/finance company by the time I have established your readiness and competence to very swiftly and sincere to handle this issue with me. Now we have agreed that for your assistance input to claim this money safe in your Country, we will offer you 30% of the total sum.

You will also be entitled to a commission on the investment you are to manage. I have carved out every strategy and modalities needed to assure a risk free transaction. While replying this proposal send me the following:

a. Your full name
b. Your house or Company's address
c. Your private phone and fax number.

These are to enable our lawyer to start preparing a power of Attorney, which will empower to back rocession of this consignment as the original owner. Please be warned, keep this business secret and confidential between you and I. I am expecting your quick response.or my altactive


Best regards.
Mr Idris Muzanda.


Okay, Mr Idris Muzanda, let me start off my response.

I express my deepest regrets.

You see, I was quite surprised at this message in my inbox.

That's a clever adage you have there. Just so we are clear about the meaning of the word:



    A saying that sets forth a general truth and that has gained credit through long use. See Synonyms at saying. See Usage Note at redundancy.

You are correct in some way. An original is hard to find.

I'm also fond of the malapropism. You can look up that definition.

I'm sure this was all planned out with many details. If I was you, I'd sure plan some heavy details to ensure success of such a transaction.

My question to you is of some concern. What do I look like to you?

By the design of this message, I must look like this:

What I must look like to you.

Well, I look more like this.

Better estimate of how I look.

These plans are wonderful, but it's rife with flaws. The errors are clear to me, and I make these next notes.

If you're going to pick a mark, you should find out if they possess the bank accounts necessary to carry out such a large transaction. While a mediocre salary of a worker in the United States might be considered a small fortune in some countries, most Americans lack the ability to move such funds.

I'm a believer in folks with large sums of financial worth. By the ability to mass such financial size, one also carries the burden of securing it. If they maintain such sizeable worth, then they deserve it, by the difficulty of the related burden. We probably both would agree that one doesn't have to necessarily work hard to attain such funds. So, if you had attained this fortune, then you should be able to take care of your circumstance without resorting to surprise contact of a stranger.

The internet can be regarded as the Wild West of communication formats. For such an important set of tasks, there are safer methods to communicate. If I was you, I wouldn't give out so many details on such an important deal with regards to the surprise of this message. This is first contact, Mr Muzanda! Of etiquette, a simple greeting and request to respond would do. Also, the construction of the message is flimsy in grammatical English.

In fact, if you are not bothered by suggestions of future employment, the plans themselves sound like a very good starting point for a video game!

It sounds exciting to play. The government and the military have become sour to your well being. You need to escape, with a general need for subterfuge. This has all the makings of a blockbuster video game hit. Make it a first-person shooter, with the need to use your wit as well as weaponry.

At least, you could consider a position which constructs subtitles for video games.

The Ways Don't Work Here.

Well, best wishes. May you have better days in the future!

Lovingly, The Sauce.

(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2004-05-01 01:27 am (UTC)

Never apologize for who you are.

It's an important part, and I understand cuteness.

You're forgiven.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: thedeadfisharmy
2004-04-30 06:09 pm (UTC)
He might think he has it bad, but that's nothing compared to this guy!
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2004-05-01 01:28 am (UTC)
Being stuck in space since 1990 . . . priceless.

I hope the freeze-dried ice cream hasn't gone stale.

Damn Commies.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: maryjane2723
2004-04-30 06:21 pm (UTC)
you look insane?
you've stretched out my friends' page. :P
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[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2004-05-01 01:30 am (UTC)

Unintended Communication.

Stretchy-friend-page . . . the better to get people to post . . . WTF Chris YOU SOB and STUFF.

I'm glad to entertain!

How be you, anyway?
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: maryjane2723
2004-05-01 05:23 am (UTC)

Re: Unintended Communication.

actually it annoys me. why do you care if people post? :)
i'm alright. i found a new hobby -- getting rid of my over abundance of bath products on ebay. i've already sold some! yay!!!
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: sauce1977
2004-05-01 04:59 pm (UTC)

Re: Unintended Communication.

Good stuff. It's good to be a salesperson.

The large size of the page was an unintended extra attention-getter.

You're right, many of the posts are ultra-annoying when they are like 1600x1200x500dpi, 40MB pictures that last forever and ever . . .

I try to keep the pictures kind of small.

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